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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
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So... I decided, apparently, that I was being much too financially responsible as of late.
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So I bought a PS3.
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FALLOUT
(Uncharted is amazing, as well.)
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
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| Time: | 2:38 pm. |
| Mood: | Odd.. | | Music: | Kill Hannah - Lips like Morphine. |
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I want a girl with lips like morphine.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, December 22nd, 2008
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...Because I tire of being everyone's emotional support, and then having to deal with the emotional attachments that stem from people being unused to others caring. I love to help my friends out, but there comes a point where it's too much for me to deal with and its overloading.
I can't deal with trying to help people, people getting the wrong idea, me feeling like a jerk because of it, everyone else getting mad at ME for whatever reason, and people calling me telling me they might kill themselves.
Fuck, especially not that last one.
I've got too much to deal with as it is.
And those fucking dreams are back, and they're about people I don't want them to be about.
I need to get out.
I need to get away.
I need to do SOMETHING.
Help.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 12th, 2008
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...Was the most enjoyable night I've had in a good, long while.
It's nice to regain friends. Especially when they're good ones.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
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| Subject: | Hooray... |
| Time: | 9:18 am. |
| Mood: | Blank, Tired.. | | Music: | Muse - Take a Bow (in my head). |
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...For the return of apathetic, emotional deadness.
How greatly I missed thee.
Fuck.
...
Hopefully it's just because I'm tired. More dreams, last night. Kinda thought those were over. Apparently I was wrong. Gahh... what am I doing? Not wanting to hurt people, and feeling no emotion do not mix well, I think.
There is one person who can make me laugh, or even smile. The strongest emotion I feel towards this person is a sense of curiousity. This is the strongest positive emotion I feel towards anyone, at the moment.
So... I could. I most definitely could.
But do I want to? If I fuck it up what happens to friendship?
Maybe I just shouldn't do anything for a while? But even then I'm probably going to hurt them. Dammit.
Hahaha... Fucking Hell.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, December 9th, 2008
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Re-read this and my other journal yesterday, from beginning to end.
...Somewhat disturbing.
Scary to see how naive I was back then, when at the time I thought I was anything but. Good (mostly) to reflect back on what happened in the past year or so.
Interesting to see how much I've changed. Changes in interests, in tastes, tolerances, women, sex, art, emotion... everything. I'm still me, I'm just a very different me from who I was a year ago. And a much better one for all the changes, in my opinion. I've gotten much better at things, as well. Better with people, better with deadlines, with women, relationships, drawing (when I actually do), setting goals and accomplishing them, dealing with stress, with anger, and knowing when to just wash my hands and walk away instead of sticking around for a fall.
All very valuable things to have learned, I think.
Oh, and to always, ALWAYS listen to that voice in the back of my head. Because as much as I ignored it there for a bit, my intuition was always right.
...If I had known then, what I know now, things would be different, and I think I'd be happier.
Probably still be with the person I actually wanted to be with, (not who you think) which would help with the happiness, I'd be a lot further along in my overall plan for my life, having not taken 8 months out of it for the worst reasons possible, and be well on my way to either getting out of here or starting a career.
Ah well. If this is what it takes for me to learn this, and to have this realization, then I suppose I can't be TOO bitter, now can I?
...NOW I just work on getting my life to the point I want it.
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 5th, 2008
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Somewhere, Across the Sea
Somewhere, Waiting for Me
My Lover Stands on Golden Sands
And Watches the Ships
That Go Sailing.
Somewhere, Beyond the Sea
She's There, Watching for Me
If I Could Fly Like Birds on High
Then Straight to Her Arms
I'd Go Sailing
It's Far, Beyond the Stars
It's Near, Beyond the Moon
I Know, Beyond a Doubt
My Heart Will Lead Me There Soon
We'll Meet, Beyond the Shore
We'll Kiss, Just as Before
Happy We'll Be, Beyond the Sea
And Never Again I'll Go Sailing
I Know, Beyond a Doubt
My Heart Will Lead Me There Soon
We'll Meet - I Know We'll Meet - Beyond the Shore
We'll Kiss, Just as Before
Happy We'll Be, Beyond the Sea
And Never Again I'll Go Sailing.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
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...Was amazing.
Fought Travis and some people I havent seen in forever swords for a few hours... Went to New College, watched some Kill Bill. Stayed there with Emma until 4am...
Its been a long time since I've had that much fun.
Too long, in fact.
...
My right hand, and most of the right side of my body, are sore as hell. I need to figure out some protection vs. swords...
...
And I will say -- my job, on maybe 2 hours of sleep, is amazing. No joke.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, November 17th, 2008
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...That wierd feeling I get has come back.
Except I can't tell what its about. The first thing that comes to mind is Jaymelee and I, but even stepping back and looking at it objectively, there aren't any problems there that I can see. Nothing's wrong at the house, nothing's wrong at my job.
So what the hell is it?
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 17th, 2008
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I'm going to dress up like the Joker for halloween.
Not the Heath Ledger Joker, but the Mark Hamil/DC Comics Joker.
Aaaaaaand that should be fun.
Also, there's this girl... We'll see where things go, but at the very least I've got myself a Harley Quinn.
Which is cool as hell. Now I just need a bunch of guys in clown masks...
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
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Back at my parent's house, now.
Woo-Hoo.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Monday, September 22nd, 2008
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| Time: | 11:04 am. |
| Mood: | Tired. |
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Canoed 8 miles down the St. Johns River, yesterday.
-- That was fun. Seriously. My arms are tired.
Still trying to figure out things regarding Des.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
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Destiny woke me up this morning and told me that she doesn't want me to move out, and she wants to stay together.
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Huh.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 9th, 2008
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I am so totally done with this situation.
-- I wake up early this morning to Destiny crying. She says she doesn't know why, but she feels really bad. So I comfort her, and I try to make her feel better. Because I'm a nice guy, and I care about her even through all this crap.
So she thanks me for being so nice to her, all things considered, but then she switches to being upset that I'm still here. Which is utter bullshit-- she can't just ask for space and expect me to be able to move instantaneously. She sprung this on me at the worst possible time, and she knows it.
Plus, she still acts like she wants me to be there a lot. So what the hell?
So anyway, I'm all like "-the hell?", and she goes on to tell me that I should be telling everyone else in the apartment (basically, Jackie) what's going on with the two of us and my situation. What the hell -- they know I'm leaving as soon as I can, they know I'm still paying for the length of time I lived there. I've told them this. Also, I fail to see how my relationship with Destiny is any of their goddamn business. And if Destiny thinks they need to be kept up to speed, then why doesn't she tell them? Every time I try to talk to them, they treat me like I'm an idiot, and they blatantly have no respect for me, and little respect for Destiny.
So I'm out. Tonight.
As much as I can manage this evening, I am moving out.
She can have her month, because I really do care about her a lot. But if she keeps fucking with my emotions, or starts taking me for granted, then I am gone. I can handle a break, but i'm not going to wait forever for her to 'find herself'.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, September 4th, 2008
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-- I like being woken up at 4;30 am to have completely meaningless conversations. Mind you, I don't even remember these conversations -- they just make it so that I only sleep for about two hours before I have to go to work the next morning.
Getting slightly bitter, now.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008
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| Time: | 8:48 am. |
| Music: | Vienna Teng - Now Three. |
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...So I bought Season 3 of SuperNatural.
Still good.
...
Also, moving out soon. I think.
Things are still a bit confusing.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, August 28th, 2008
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
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And so it ends.
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She has her month.
Let's see what she does with it.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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